![]() ![]() In this stage, the idea of seeing your person is still all consuming and moves from erotic to romantic passion. Once the feelings of erotic lust have subsided, you’re squarely in the stage of attraction. If in-person interactions can be supplemented, there may also be a possibility to utilize the embodied environments of virtual reality to deepen those connections and move towards attraction with the ultimate goal of love. Some researchers are afraid that virtual reality will usher in an age of greater isolation and disconnection, while others argue that VR is a tool that will supplement in-person interactions while deepening existing physical relationships. Sex in virtual reality is already here, but it appears that we skipped over some of the more essential elements that work to create the emotion of love, for example the pheromones that contribute to the feeling, and rushed straight into it’s physical, or more accurately virtually augmented, manifestation. While avatars may need to be relatively accurate representations of ourselves to foster true love, the ability to connect using multiple senses is of great concern. The science of love based in the real world speaks in all five senses. Whether the love built upon a virtual image can transfer to the real world depends on various factors and may ultimately reinforce the creator’s shame or fear of being different from the image they are trying to project. For example, the creator may have a slender beautiful young avatar, when the reality is quite different. When the projection is not an accurate representation of reality a physical meeting in person may be quite upsetting. In virtual environments experiences are shared by digital avatars that are based on the creator’s desired projection. Still from Second Life ( Alicia Chenaux/Flickr) Virtual environments are already being used as a means for more short-lived, lustful connections with others. ![]() VR offers heightened sensation through more immersive environments with no shortage of tools to engage in sexual behavior. While digital tools are increasing access to dating and sex, virtual reality with its use of haptic technologies will significantly surpass digital dating in cultivating lust. Perhaps virtual worlds will harness the power of lust to engage users and cultivate attraction similar to digital technologies where users are motivated by love but addicted to lust. What is more surprising is how these digital tools are going beyond the first stage, resulting in longer, more meaningful relationships. If lust is the first stage of love, it’s no wonder that dating apps like Tinder have galvanized the dating scene, making over 10 billion matches worldwide. Lust affects your brain in the same way cocaine does as it has the ability to increase dopamine as a response to the pleasure found in a new love. According to Judith Orloff, “Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate.” This stage is a visceral response to the physicality of your partner. Understanding each of these stages will help us to better understand how virtual spaces can foster love and long-lasting relationships. If you can make it past the first two stages you have good odds of landing in stage 3 and finding yourself as part of a pair. But how does the science work when people are no longer meeting in the physical world? Can people find and fall in love in an age of virtual reality? And can it really lead to sustained relationships? Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher tells us that there are 3 stages of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. There’s a science to falling in love, evidenced in the dopamine induced fireworks of a first kiss to the release of vasopressin when we feel attached to a committed partner. With its ability to take people to faraway places, create a sense of empathy for those you may never meet, change dangerous behaviors, and serve as a teaching tool in applied fields such as medicine, art, and even science, the question remains: Can virtual reality be used to forge the ultimate bridge between two people? Theodore: How many others? Samantha: 641. Are you? Samantha: I’ve been thinking about how to talk to you about this. Theodore: Are you in love with anybody else? Samantha: Why do you ask that? Theodore: I do not know. ![]() Theodore: How many others? Samantha: 8,316. Theodore: Are you talking with someone else right now? People, OS, whatever… Samantha: Yeah. Theodore: Do you talk to someone else while we’re talking? Samantha: Yes. ![]() The 2014 romantic sci-film Her asked it first on the big screen: what does it look like to fall in love in virtual reality? Is it possible that we could connect with someone on the deepest level without even touching them in the physical world? ![]()
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